Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Blah, that's how I feel today. My brother and his fiance closed on their first house yesterday, and I am so happy for them, they are getting married in 1 month and 2 days. It's a cute little house, in a nice neighborhood. I just can't help but think, he and I are the exact same age, and I am still living with my parents and trying to finish school. Why can't it be me that is almost married to the love of my life and setting up my home with him. I never thought I would be the person that was going to be close to 30 before I moved out of my parents house. I had a goal and timeline set or my life, why can't it just go according to that. Why did I suddenly have to hit this brick-wall and why can't I climb it or bust through it. I keep telling myself its God's timeline and plan but it just isn't working. I'm very quickly losing patience with it.

I have recently started to think what else I could do with my BA so that I can move my life forward. If I could find a good job I wouldn't need to finish med-school and Mark and I could start a life together. I thought about maybe getting a job in a lab or something. I haven't gone farther than that though, I can't bring myself to start looking. I want to be a doctor I just don't feel like I have the patience or stamina anymore for it.

The moral of this post, I WANT MY LIFE TO MOVE FORWARD!

Thanks for listening to me complain, I will try to come up with something more positive later.

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