dresses

I'm going to try on wedding dresses on Saturday!! I am so freaking excited!! My mom, Marks mom, my brothers girlfriend, other brothers wife, and a bunch of my friends are going. I'm seriously counting down the hours now!!! EEEEEEEKKKKKK

Any advice on anything to do or try while there? What should I wear there? Any advice at all?

Date

We have a date set!!! September 24, 2011!! We have the church booked and thats it, but where we have a date and it is finally happening! I can't wait to start sharing all the planning info with you guys! It's going to be so much fun!! EHHHHHHHHH

Puppy

We saved this little sweetie from a group that wanted to use her to train fight Pitts! She is so loving and loves to cuddle! If we didn't have so many animals already we would keep her but we can't. We don't know how old she is or anything just that she deserves better! I don't know how to upload a picture to blogger from my phone so when I get home I will upload one. Please help us find this sweetheart a home!

ch-ch-ch-changes

Well i finally did it, I told everyone that I no longer want to be a doctor. I have known for a while but I didn't want to let everyone down so I kept on. I finally realized that if the only reason i was still going to be a doctor was because it's what people expected of me, was the wrong reason. I don't really know what I am going to do. I am sending in resumes right now for labs, health department jobs. If you know of any other jobs that I can use a Biology degree with please pass them my way! I am pretty open to anything, I'm just going with the flow and see where I end up at. God has a plan and I am going to follow it and try not to question it.

This means, that mark and I can start thinking about a date for a wedding, and all the planning that comes with it. I can't wait!! I finally feel like my life is on a track that is heading where i want to be, married and living with my husband. I am no longer going to be stuck at a standstill watching all my friends by houses and get married, i am going to be one of them. I am going to be a grown-up!

Test

I am taking my test again on Thursday. I'm freaking out and starting to shake constantly. Please say prayers, send me good vibes whatever you have. If I don't pass it this time I don't know what is going to happen in my career. I know this is where God is leading me and it's what he wants for me but I still feel nervous that I won't pass. So please just keep me in your prayers.

Help a soldier

All of you in St. Louis, what are you doing this Saturday? If your answer is nothing you should come to Faith Lutheran Church at 6101 Telegraph road, in Oakville. They are partnering with the Mehlville Fire Department to host a Wounded Warrior benefit.

This is the description from the site:

The Mehlville firefighters and Paramedics are sponsoring a Benefit BBQ at Faith Lutheran Church Sept. 24th & 25th. The proceeds will go to Corporal Todd Nicely, a Marine that lost all of his arms and legs do to an explosion in Afghanistan. We would love to have some volunteers, donations or just come and eat and have fun. We will have music, a car show, some fire trucks, some military trucks and some inflatable slides, obstacle courses, raffle and plenty of BBQ cooked by our own Firefighters. Please join us for a good day.

Friday: 11:00-7:00 BBQ and a car cruise
Saturday: 11:00-5:00 BBQ, stuff for kids, car show

As you can see there will be plenty of stuff for everyone in the family! There is a building for kids to play games, such as basketball and Wii. I am going to be volunteering at one of the moon bounces, and I will also have a car entered in the car show.

So please come out and eat, enjoy some fun stuff some cool cars and help support and wonderful man and his family!

Last post about this!

Ok this is my last plea to donate to help support my walk to help cure kids cancer!

Please support me as I walk to help support research to cure kids cancer! I am participating in the annual six flags walk in the park on July 17th. Go to: www.walkintheparks.org type amber Doggendorf in the support a walker search bar and please donate! Thank you!!

Please please please help!

Do you hate kids cancer? Do you wish there was something you could do about it? If you answered yes to these questions, you are in luck!! You can support me as I participate in the walk in the park to cure kids cancer. It's this Saturday at Six Flags St. Louis. Just go to http://www.walkintheparks.org/index.cfm?fusea...ction=donorDrive.home
and under the support a walker type in my name: Amber Doggendorf and it will take you to my donations page. The link was bad but I've got it right now. Thank you so much for any donation you can give!

Oh and if you answered no to those questions why the h*ll am I your friend??

Again

Just reminding you all to donate to help cure kids cancer!

Please support me as I walk to help support research to cure kids cancer! I am participating in the annual six flags walk in the park on July 17th. Go to: www.walkinthepark.org type amber Doggendorf in the support a walker search bar and please donate! Thank you!!

Walk in the park

Hey all, I know it's been awhile and I always say this but I will do better! I've reapplied for the test so pray for me! But the big thing I got on here for is to ask your help with something. I am participating in the six flags walk in the park to cure kids cancer and I'm asking you to donate! I can't stand to think of kids dealing with cancer, this is one of the reasons I want to be a pediatrician. If you could just go to www.walkintheparks.org and in the support a participant bar type amber Doggendorf and donate to my page. I appreciate all the help you can give me, but really the kids. I am looking forward to this walk and hope you will consider supporting me! Thank you all!! And sorry if this post is messed up it's the first one from my iPhone.

hmmm

Well, you know how I said i was miserable at work with Kitty. I don't need to worry about that anymore, her daughter called me yesterday to tell me that she passed away this weekend. They are thinking it was another heart attack. As much as i didn't like working for her, i definitely didn't want anything like this to happen. The visitation is tonight, so I am going to go and say goodbye to her.

I lost 3 pounds in the past like 2 weeks, the main reason for that is being sick, and nervous from working for kitty. When I get nervous/stressed/upset I can't stay out of the bathroom, so hey if nothing else it helped me to lose some weight. 5 more pounds to lose and I will be down to my "happy" weight and if I could lose 10 more pounds I will be at my WOOHOO weight!

On Saturday night we went to Ameristar casino, I had never been there before and I like it so much better than Harrahs, its just much nicer looking. I still need to go to River City, maybe this weekend.

Mark and I are going to be spending all weekend together because he gets Friday off, so he ahs a 3-day weekend! I can't wait it'll be nice to just spend time together.

I still need to upload my pictures from the St. Patty's day parade last week and when I do I will make a post with it. I had a ton of fun even though it was cold!

EEKKK

Mark and I are looking at another house, we went out yesterday just the two of us to walk around the house and property and look. We both still like it so tonight I am taking my parents out there, and if they like it we are going to be calling our realator. Its a 3 bed 3 bath house on 5 acres in the middle of nowhere. I'm kinda having a minor freak out about this! Like is this really going to happen?! So keep us in your thoughts as we figure out logistics and money and everything...

Mish mash

I know I just posted about Jamaica but now you are going to get a post full of stuff that has happened since then til now, so I can finally be caught up on my blogging.

• There have been a few times in the past month where my group of friends has gotten together, and my best friend, who got married last year, has been acting not himself. I see him slowly drifting away from me and there isn't anything I can do about it. He has left me out of important things in his life. He is ignoring texts and facebook messages. I don't know what to do about it, and it hurts so much. It's a big part of why I have been in such a dark funk lately I think.
• My dark funk is putting a ravine between me and Mark. The first and worst week of this funk Mark was here Saturday and Sunday and saw it, on Monday when it was the worst, he asked me if I was ok and I had been saying yeah, I'm fine whatever. Finally on Monday when he asked I looked at him and just said no I'm not ok, and you know what he did? HE LEFT, he F-ing went home. I was so pissed! I admit something is wrong and he leaves. That was two weeks ago and I still don't think I am over it. I even hinted in status messages about wanting flowers to cheer me up, or just wanting to feel better, did he do anything, nope nothing. I just want to feel like he cares, ya know?
• I went to one of my good friends new boyfriends concerts. He plays in a metal band, not my type of music but I'm there for support, it was actually pretty good, not as bad as I thought. There weren't many people there, it was at "The Library" in Soulard and they have a little shop thing in there with a penis pinata! We were in shock, awe and knew we had to have it. Unfortunately it wasn't for sale, so needless to say we will be going back just to see it.
• I'm going to the St Patty's day parade tomorrow with the same friend. It should be fun, I'm ready for some green beer and feel I may not remember alot of what happens tomorrow, but for how I am feeling I think that is ok.
  
• I have been studying but not as much as I would like and I know as I need to. I just want to be sure that this time and energy will pay off in the end.
• I am working for a new lady who is mean, hateful, and makes me miserable and sick pretty much everyday I am there. I need the money though so i can't quit. I suffer through and put my check in the bank each time thinking I am closer to having the money to pay for this test.
• And to end on a happy note my kitty is getting so big! He came to us last July, his mommy had been hit by a car and he was hiding out at my dads shop. He will be 1 in may and I can't believe it! I am going to add some happy kitty pictures to end with:

My baby boy with his favorite toy

Jasper trying to figure out why he has a pink bed. (It's because we thought he was a girl)

Jasper enjoying the sunshine as a big boy

Helping up to clean up the garage

Jamaica

I am finally going to get around to my Jamaica mission trip:

the hotel owned by ACE called the Galina Breeze

I went on a mission trip to Jamaica with the college aged and 20 somethings group from my church. it was amazing. We went with a group called ACE or American Caribbean Experience. While there we tutored students, the first student I had was a first grade girl, she could read anything I put in front of her, even big words she could sound out. Next I had a sixth grade boy who couldn't even read the word "go". I was in shock, how has he made it through, ends up they just pass kids through and that's it. In sixth grade they have to take a test and this test tells them whether they go to university or to trade school. Can you imagine that, in sixth grade your life is decided for you. My church sponsors a few of these kids, that gives them the tutoring, food for lunch, uniforms to wear to school. They kids families are so poor some of them sleep on dirt floors, and when it rains they sleep in mud. It was so sad. We were at the schools 4 of the five days we were there, we also did PE with the students because they don't have it as part of their curriculum they also don't get science very often. Entire curriculum's are missing from these kids schooling.

One of the schools we worked at 1st-6th grade

Besides the schools we also went to something called the infirmary. This is basically the "poor house" when you have no money and no family to take care of you this is where you go. It's a giant room with beds all along the perimeter, all these people did was lay in bed all day, until ACE came in. Now they get juice, and fresh water and food at least 3 days a week, they get music, and they are coloring and playing dominoes, and messing with play-doh. Many of these people are older and you may think that's not a big deal, coloring, woohoo, when ACE first started going there most of these people couldn't even get out of bed, its huge that they are now able to do this. These people get basically no vegetables, no fruit and little meat, rice is their main food. One male there, was probably about 19 and he lived in this place because nobody else could handle him, why was he so hard to handle? Because when he was a boy he got "passed around" the males of the town, the only way he could handle it was to act out, now he is drugged up all the time that he can't do anything, because he never had the chance for counseling or the chance for a real life because nobody took him out of the situation he was in. This all sounds sad and hard but let me tell you, this was the chance of a lifetime and i will be going back.

It wasn't all work, we did have some relax time while there. We got to see the football team play that is sponsored by ACE. That was an experience, football is a religion to Jamaicans and so much fun to watch. We had a water volleyball tournament in the pool, great devotions at night with the group. I learned how to play dominoes, the unofficial game of Jamaica. We spent a day in Kingston seeing the only Lutheran church in all of Jamaica, the pastor from that church actually spent the week with us as my church is "unofficially" teamed with him.

The football team sponsored by the Galina Breeze hotel

I am actually going to ask you to click the link above for ACE and see if it is something you would maybe talk to your church about. They need people down there to help, the kids need your tutoring, the people in the infirmaries just need you there visiting with them, talking to them, and making them feel alive again. And Marla just loves it when groups come down!

week 2 weigh in

I was so nervous to step on the scale today, I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest! I shouldn't have been nervous at all! I lost 2.3 pounds since last weeks weigh in! WOOHOO I was so excited I practically skipped back down the hall! So that means I have lost 3.3 pounds in two week! Working out and watching your calories actually works! If you have an iPhone I 100% recommend the Loseit app. You record everything you eat every time you work out and it keeps tracks of your calories for you and tells you how many more you can eat. It then subtracts the calories you burn when you exercise, it's a great app and helping me out so much right now.

I am not going to make yoga again tonight because I need to work, I'm upset I have only made it to yoga once as compared to my three times for Zumba. I am going to make it back Yoga I swear!

done for the day

Another day of studying is done, I feel like I got a good amount accomplished today: Cardiac, Endocrine, Hematology, and Musculoskeletal Physio got done. I am going to review them tomorrow morning before i go to work and hopefully tomorrow night at work after Toots goes to bed I can review GI physio. My head feels like it is going to explode, I just want to sleep and I want to be done with it all.

But now I need to go home make dinner, change the laundry out and then go to the gym for Zumba class or Kelly will call and ask where I am and be incredibly dissapointed if I don't go, like she was last night when i didn't go to the gym...bad me.

And did I mention that studying for the USMLE step 1 sucks? Because it really does...

studying

I'm back at the good ol library to study. Physiology is on the schedule for today. I don't want to do it, I hate Physio it can kiss my ass for all i care, but it's one of the biggest topics on the test so I can't just skip it. I guess I just need to suck it up and do it, huh? UGHH wish me luck.

As a side note, i totally can't wait for my scheduled lunch break because I am going to allow myself to watch biggest Loser from last night, woohoo!

giveaway

Head over to fantabulously frugal and check out her giveaway. It ends tomorrow, and I have no idea how I missed it! It's a $100 gift card to Amazon, from Mr. Rebates, how awesome is that!!

procrastination is fun

So I am sitting at the library where I am supposed to be studying for the Step 1, I have done some, but I'm just not in it today. So instead I have been wasting time on the interwebs and watching the Biggest Loser online. I just finished the first episode of the season and am moving onto the second. And now it has gotten me incredibly nervous for my weigh-in on Thursday. My Lose-it account has me set to lose one pound a week. What if I can't even do that, what if these people are losing 20 something pounds a week and I can't even lose one?

On top of that Mark and i got into a huge fight this weekend, and I almost chucked my engagement ring at his head when he was threatening to walk out. It was all over pretty stupid stuff but to us it felt huge. We made a pact to work on it and with him getting a job closer to me and spending more time at my house I think we can make it work.

My friend bubble is fixing to explode, stuff is going on and it's only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan. I think I started it all in motion on Saturday night, you really shouldn't piss me off in the middle of Mark and I fighting because whatever is on my mind will come out.

I can't wait to go to the gym with Kelly tonight and have our talk time in the sauna, its a great way to cleanse the body and mind.

I'm really craving something greasy right now, and I think it's only because I know I can't have it.

Why can't I bring myself to study when I know I need to?

Why did I fall asleep singing "mary had a little lamb last night" I think I am going nuts, maybe you should have me committed.

So this turned into a much more random post than originally planned but hey that's what makes it fun.

Weight

I know this is a common topic after the first of the year, but it's a real problem for me now. All through high school, undergrad and even medical school i weighed a steady 125 pounds, I was incredibly happy with that. Then I got on the scale at the gym on Thursday and it read 148, I almost had a heart attack. I thought OK, gym scale people on and off it constantly its probably not calibrated correctly. So I cam home and got on the scale at home thinking it'd have to read lower, definitely not, according to the home scale I am 149.6 pounds. So in a matter of 2 years I have gained 25 pounds. To most people its like "whoopdie do big deal" But to someone who was the exact same weight for 8 years, that's HUGE!

It's a good thing I started going to the gym again before i jumped on the scale or else people would think this was just a fluke gym thing. It's not my mom, and 3 of my good friends and I all go to the gym together. We are doing Zumba, and Yoga as well as treadmill and weight machines. Then after each visit to the gym we sit in the sauna for 20 minutes, what a great way to get rid of nastiness in your skin!

So this blog is now also going to become my weekly check-in for weight. I also downloaded an app to my iPhone to track my calories per day, my exercise, and my BMI. Hopefully it helps!

Christmas, a month late

Yes it is January 22, 2010 and I am just now getting around to posting about Christmas. It's probably going to be short because honestly I don't remember much about it anymore.

On Christmas Eve we always go over to my Grandparents house. So there were mom, dad, Christian, Mandy, Mark, Me, Jesse, jeffrey, Lora, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt JoAnn, Aunt Sis, and Uncle Tom. We gathered around and ate a yummy meal of baked ham, fried Turkey, 3 bean casserole, mashed potatoes, slaw, jello salad ( I didn't eat this EWWWW) and some other stuff I am sure I am forgetting, and all enjoying yummy margaritas, pina colladas, and beers. After the meal and everything was cleaned up we opened gifts. Clothes, movies, shoes, posters, GPS's, tools, toolboxes and so much more. It was a great night and I love spending time with family. After gift opening and hanging out Mark had to elave to go to a family friends and then to candlelight service with his family. Then my brothers, me my aunt and uncle and lora and played a game, michigan rummy or something like that. It was weird! But I had fun learning a new game and I am sure we will play it again.

Christmas day. Woke up in the morning and opened gifts at home with the immediate family, more clothes, purses, cupcake stuff, docking station for my iphone, oh and my phone was an early christmas gift. And my most favorite gift: A new mattress for my waterbed since my cat had popped the new one I bought a few weeks before and i had been sleeping on a twin mattress thrown into my waterbed frame=incredibly uncomfortable! After that I had to shower and head to Marks. The roads were horrible! A van spun out right in front of me and bounced off the guard-rails a few times before it stopped, I'm still not sure how I didn't hit him or get hit. It was incredibly scary! Then I went around a turn and there was an accident in the middle of the road and you couldn't see it until you were right there, not sure how I missed it too, but I know God was with me! So because of all that excitement I got to Marks house late and we had to jump back into cars and go to his cousins house. There we all hung out and ate a ton more food. Mark's uncle was there and i was so happy! I don't get to see him often and he is so much fun when I do.

We left his cousins house and went back to his house where I got to open my gifts from his parents: A red crock pot, a red kitchen aid food processor, black and white salt and pepper shakers, and Christmas kitchen towels. In case you couldn't tell I want a red, white and black kitchen and his mom is really helping me get it! Mark got me the Twilight scene it game for the Wii.

WOW I am one spoiled rotten brat! But it was fun!

Christian and Mandys wedding

My twin brother got married December 19th, and it was a blast!! After the rehersal dinner the bride, bridesmaids, and brides brother all stayed the night at Mandy's parents house. We slept on the floor and had a great time just hanging out. We got up the next morning and all went to get our hair and make-up done, then it was off to the Provincial House chapel on the campus of UMSL to hang out in the brides room and drink mimosas. When it was time to get Mandy ready the videographer came in and had us all say something, I blubbered like a baby, something about finally getting a sister. Then it was time for the walk down the aisle:The vows:

the unity candle ceremony:


The new Mr. and Mrs.:
After that there was a bunch of hanging around the church and taking pictures, then it was off to the party bus! What a great time! Everyone was drinking, dancing, laughing, it was just fun. We stopped at Busch Stadium to take some pictures, it was freaking freezing out there! But I think we got some good ones.

The reception was at Orlando Gardens on Telegraph, everyone had a blast.

first dance:

father/daughter dance:

mother/son dance:

Hoe-down throw-down:I didn't know 100% how to do this dance but at least I got out there and tried, which is more than anyone else can say. I couldn't hold up against the boys though, they kick ass at that dance. We danced the night away, it was so fun, my feet and legs didn't like me the next day but oh well, I had a blast.

Hopefully tomorrow I will get my Christmas, and mission trip posts up. Thanks for hanging around while I wasn't blogging to all of you left, I appreciate you!