stuff

OK, this is going to be a quick update and in the new year I will post a few substantial posts. I have to blog about my brothers wedding, Christmas, and most importantly my mission trip to Jamaica!!

I leave January 2nd and come back on the 9th. I can't freaking wait!! So after I get back I will give you bunches of blog posts with bunches of pictures!!

What I needed

This is just what I needed today:

A good laugh, helped so much. The dogs woke me up this morning with puddles and piles and having to chase one through the house. Not a great way to start the morning. I kinda knew right then that today wasn't gonna be the best day ever. But these little guys helped some.

Now if only it weren't raining outside, there were flowers everywhere, and I could get out of this funk.

Blah

Blah, that's how I feel today. My brother and his fiance closed on their first house yesterday, and I am so happy for them, they are getting married in 1 month and 2 days. It's a cute little house, in a nice neighborhood. I just can't help but think, he and I are the exact same age, and I am still living with my parents and trying to finish school. Why can't it be me that is almost married to the love of my life and setting up my home with him. I never thought I would be the person that was going to be close to 30 before I moved out of my parents house. I had a goal and timeline set or my life, why can't it just go according to that. Why did I suddenly have to hit this brick-wall and why can't I climb it or bust through it. I keep telling myself its God's timeline and plan but it just isn't working. I'm very quickly losing patience with it.

I have recently started to think what else I could do with my BA so that I can move my life forward. If I could find a good job I wouldn't need to finish med-school and Mark and I could start a life together. I thought about maybe getting a job in a lab or something. I haven't gone farther than that though, I can't bring myself to start looking. I want to be a doctor I just don't feel like I have the patience or stamina anymore for it.

The moral of this post, I WANT MY LIFE TO MOVE FORWARD!

Thanks for listening to me complain, I will try to come up with something more positive later.

another giveaway

Head over to fantabulosly frugal and check out the new giveaway she has going on with outfit additions.

Busy

WOW I have been busy! A few weeks ago I went with Mom to a great friends wedding in Arkansas. Shayla and Sergio got married in a beautiful ceremony. They had a wonderful reception at a gorgeous old house in Little Rock. Shayla wore a gorgeous Maggie Sotterro dress that she has had her eyes on since she first got engaged.

Mom and I explored all over Little Rock. We went to the William Clinton Library, wasn't incredibly imrpessed with it. We walked all around the Market district and went to the Old State House. It was beautiful! And there were some really awesome exhibits inside.

Last Sunday mark and I went to Eckerts to pick our pumpkins and apples. We had so much fun walking around and looking at all the animals and watching the Pig races! Mark and I then bought pooping pig key chains and chased each other around with them.

The pig races:

Mark picking his apples:

A pretty apple in a tree:

Me picking my apples:

Me with my most perfectest pumpkin:

Cool pumpkin in the patch:

Mark and I at Eckerts:

This past Wednesday Mark and I went shopping. We hit up Gordman's and Old Navy. I got three new dresses a new pair of leggings and a new pair of jeans. Then I went shopping today and got two new shirts from JCPenny's, a Christmas present for my little brothers girlfriend, my new shoes for Christian's wedding and a clutch th carry. I also got grey boots to wear with my new dresses and leggings, I am so excited to wear them!!! I also got the gift for Mandy's wedding shower, and the placemats. I think I am almost done with all of the stuff for it. I am going to the Blues game on Firday the 23rd with some girlfriends, its the pink out game, so part of my ticket goes to breast cancer research and we get a pink shirt! So I bought a long sleeved pink t-shirt for breast cancer research and a pink Blues t-shirt to wear. So now for pictures of my new shoes!!!

Shoes for the wedding, my clutch matches them perfectly!

My new grey boots, I heart them so much!

I think that about covers everything that i have been up to for the last few weeks. On and in there I worked for 160 hours in 1 week. It was long, boring, and at time annoying, but it was amazing money so I am not going to complain. Tomorrow we are going to the Zoo and we are going to do the behind the scenes tour, Penguin and Puffins. I'll have a bunch of pictures to post after that too!

giveaway one million for the month

OK not really but it feels like it, and no I am not complaining, in the least! The ladies from handbag Heaven and fantabulosluy frugal have teamed up for a wonderful giveaway. Either $50 to handbag Heaven or a purse of your choosing from the site! So head over to fantabulosly frugal to check it out!

And a big shout out thank you to Sharon from Culinary adventures of a new wife, for hosting a great giveaway which I happened to win! Go over and check her site out, she has some fantastic recipies!!!

giveaway

Another pretty nifty giveaway is going on now! So much happening out there in the blogosphere these past few days!! Misadventures of a Newlywed is hosting a giveaway to remind us of the summer that has passed us by!

Some randomness

First the amazing lady over at Good Girls inc is hosting another giveaway in honor of her 175th post! Woohoo, I'm so happy for you, and it makes me so excited to even get to 100 posts...I've got a ways to go though!

Lets see what else..I went to the Cards/Cubs game with my Mom/Dad/and Mark on Sunday night. We had a balst even though we lost after 11 innings. Especially hard to take since we though we won it in the 9th. Before the game we headed to Lumiere place with Christian and Mandy. Lost some money at the slots and just had a good time hanging out. I'll post some pictures of the game later...I still need to put them on my camera.

Seven weeks ago I ordered new contacts. Never heard anything about them, I called the office 3 times to ask about it and left messages with the contact lady and never got calls back. Well in the past seven weeks I've gotten 3 eye infections from my old contacts because I have been wearing them for 3 months and they are supposed to be monthly. So after calling again and not getting anywhere my mom called up there yesterday and wouldn't get off the phone until she got some answers. Ends up that even though I paid in full for my contacts the NEVER ordered them. So I have been dealing with a blood red eye, that waters and gunks constantly that swells shut and hurts like none other because they couldn't bother to order my contacts! I was so mad, I went up there today and picked up my prescription I'm getting them from somewhere else. Where do you get your contacts from? Has anyone ever used 1-800-contacts? I'm trying to decide the best option.

My trip to Ohio wasn't bad. I got to spend time with Mark and his dad which was fun, and I got to meet one of Marks best friends Mike. Him, his wife, and their little son are just wonderful! I kinda wish we lived closer so we could see them more than once a year because they are pretty awesome. There were some really nice cars there, Mustangs, El Caminos and a bunch of others. I got a new shirt, got Jeff an shirt and Jesse some decals for his Road runner.

Poor Jasper got really sick last week from a mixture of his vaccines and de-worming medicine. The poor little guy had a fever, could barely move and meowed in pain in you touched him. If you would have looked at him laying on the couch you would have swore he was dead, we really didn't think he was going to make it. After 2 days of him not eating/drinking or going potty the vet gave him fluids subcutaneously and it really helped him. Next week the poor little guy goes to get the snip-snip. I feel so bad already knowing he is going to be scared because I am leaving him at the vets and then in pain and mad at me. I know it's for the best but I still really worry about my baby.

I'm sure there is more stuff but I am drawing a blank now. Hope my random rambeling didn't bore you too much!

Maggie

We got Maggie in 1994 not long after my grandfather passed away. She was just a little fuzz ball, so sweet and soft. I remember going to the Humane Society with my mom to get her. We were trying to decide between her and a German Shepard puppy. We took Maggie into the little room and she was just so excited she was jumping and playing, she pooped everywhere and was just too cute. I had to have her. She was never overly hyper, playful or rough. She was always a calm and loving dog. She did good with Jesse and Jeffrey who were only 4 at the time we brought her home. The only problem we ever had with her was when she tried to eat the neighbors Chihuahuas. She doesn't like yippey dogs either. She loved to run, she knew when mom and dad were coming home from work and would meet them at the top of the road and race them home, she always won too. She slept with me on my bed, and she had her own pillow and blanket, she'd lay on her pillow and I'd have to cover her up before I could go to bed. Then grandma moved in with us and I went to Valpo and she started to sleep with her. Whenever grandma would leave to visit my uncle Maggie wouldn't eat until grandma got back. We were all worried when grandma died, we figured maggie wouldn't be far behind. But it's been over a year. However Maggie's end is drawing near, probably within the next week or so. She has a hard time walking she is so stiff, and a really hard time sitting, but she isn't in pain. She doesn't whine, and she lets me pet her hips and rub them without any problem. It's gonna be really hard when we have to take her in, She's been my dog since I was 11 and my little brothers dog since they were 4. She's been a great dog for all of us and we will miss her.


This is Maggie from about 4 years ago, when she was having no problems at all, she could sit, sit pretty, shake and lay down. i think now if we asked her to do any of them she would still try...This is Maggie from about 2-3 years ago, you can tell she is looking older and more worn out. But she was laying on her grannies bed so she didn't care.

And this one is Maggie from just a few weeks ago. You can really see a difference here. This is a pretty common stance for her now, she tried to sit and then her front legs slide out from under her.But no matter what Maggie was a great puppy and she will always be my baby girl.

It's been a good day!!

It's been a great day!!! First I found out yesterday I get to go the Fabulous Fox and see "The Phantom of the Opera" on October 4th!! I can't wait! I have never been to the Fox and can't wait to see it, and I absolutely LOVE the Phantom!! Sooo excited, my brothers girlfriend is the bestest!!! She got me the ticket!
Then this morning at 11:20 I got 4 tickets to the Cards/Cubs game on Sunday September 20th!! I can't wait!! This is going to be my first Cards/Cubs game and I can't wait for the fun to begin!! I am sooooo fricken excited! Now I just hope for a winner!
The four tickets sitting on the island in my house!!



A close up of one of the tickets, with the date and game on it! WOOHOO!!!!



And the shirt I bought today to wear to the game! WOOHOO!!


And just for fun and to piss my fiance off I bought this in a t-shirt today. He is a HUGE International Harvester fan and can't stand John Deere! HEHE can't wait to show him and see his face. :D Am I evil or what? I am off this weekend to the International Scout and Light Truck Nationals with Mark and we are meeting his Dad there. It's something he goes to every year with his Dad, I am tagging along this year because he wants me too. I don't know much about them and to be honest I think Scouts are rather ugly but I will be with him and that's all that matters. And it's a weekend away from St. Louis which will be fun. They apparently have a swap meet too so maybe I will find something cool there...who knows.
I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy the rest of the week! I leave tomorrow night, and have a bunch of laundry to do so I can pack and be ready to go.

comic relief

A lady over at the wedding website I am a member of posted this. It made me crack up so I felt the need to share with all of you:

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose
not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first
saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a ---- from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu'
to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an
overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet my --- everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and
the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner.

awesome giveaway!

The lovely lady over at Fantabulosly frugal is at it again! She is giving away a $50 gift certificate to NOVICA! They have some pretty awesome stuff on their site, go check them out too! Wish her a happy birthday while you are there, today is her birthday!!

substance

I know I promised a post of substance, and well I am finally delivering. If any of you are left out there paying any attention at all to my blog. I know I left you for a while. I was going through some things.

1. I did not pass my test again...Got me really down. I did however see tons of improvement and I am just starting to organize studying again.

2. My best friend got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with lots of tears, and smiles. And a ton of fun was had on the party bus and at the reception!

3. Mark and I decided to buy a house, then decided not too. That one was hard on both of us. We found a house we both loved, and where about to put in a bid, then freaked out about the money. So i think we are going to wait a while. Sometimes thinking and acting like a grown-up sucks!

4. I am now trying to help plan my twin brother's fiances shower, and her aunt who is also planning is being a real b*tch. She is such a control freak and is leaving me nothing to do. HELLO this is my twin brother, I am in the wedding, you are an aunt, let me do something!!

5. We went through a bit of a health scare with my mom, luckily it's nothing too serious. But she and I are now going to the gym together so that we can stay healthy! And we want to look hot at said brothers wedding. ;)

6. I got a new kitten! He was a stray found behind my dad's shop. His mom had been seen the day before decapitated in the middle of the street, so sad. But he is such a lively, and loving boy. He purrs constantly and loves to be around people, and boy is he full of energy! At first we thought he was a she, until the vet informed me otherwise..WHOOPS we already had a pink bed, pink collar, pink toys and a girls name. That is now all changed except for the bed...he doesn't use it anyway he sleeps with me so I figured it didn't matter.
I know that more happened, but I am drawing a blank, so I guess that's gonna be it for now. And if anyone is left, I promise I will do better about updating. It felt good to sit down and make a post today.

another giveaway.

I know I know, it's been a freaking long time. I will put up a more substantial post I swear. Hopefully later today. I will I promise. But the lovely lady over at fantabulosly frugal is at it again! Her birthday is coming up and she is doing an amazing giveaway in honor of it. So go over check it out and wish her a happy birthday!

Another amazing giveaway

The lovely lady over at fantabulosly frugal is at it again! She's giving away scentsy, scent bars that are so much safer than candles!

And I know it's been a while since I actually blogged, I'll write one soon. The test is on the 24th and after that I will have time to write.

Amazing giveaway!!!!!

The lovely lady over Fantabulously Frugal is having an amazing giveaway!! It's seriously the best I have seen. Go over and check it out, and tell her I sent you please!!!

ARGHH

So I just talked to Mark and the broker called him and we won't hear anything until tomorrow, I really don't know if I can wait that long to know. My lower lip is going to be gone because I chew it when I get nervous. ARGHHHH

Freaking out

Ok so my parents were looking for a house for my twin brother and his fiance, in their searching they found a house that would be perfect for Mark and I. It needs some work and it's listed for $109,900 which on 3 acres of land with a barn, stables, two car garage and two other outbuildings and three bed three bath house isn't bad at all! So today we called a mortgage broker to see about getting pre-approved and I am freaking out waiting to hear back from her. What if we don't get it? What if they laugh at us and say no way in HE double hockey sticks are we gonna give you a home loan. I was so nervous calling the lady today that I had to call my mom and talk to her before I called this lady and my mom pretty much said ok i am going to hang up and you ARE going to call her, then call me back so I know you did it. It was horrible!!! And now I am trying to study while I wait to hear back...YEA RIGHT!!! I'm just soo nervous what if they say no, or what if they say yes! ARGHHHHHH How did you all handle this, because I am a wreck and I can't stay like this and hope t be a functioning member of society!

WOW

OKOK I know I've been away for awhile, and I am sorry! But it's for a good reason, I've been studying my booty off! And I have seen soooo much improvement in my score! Not enough yet but enough for me to be able to see an end to this sometime! I can't wait for that day! Once I pass this stupid test I can actually start clinicals and be in the hospitals and I can start to plan my wedding! WOOHOO i can't wait!!! I'm heading home on Thursday the 9th, I can't wait to see everyone. my mommy is coming up here on Monday and I am going to take her around KC and then she is going to ride home with me so I don't need to be by myself. I think Mark is pretty darn excited about me coming home even though I won't get to see him too much because I am still going to be closed off in a dark cave somewhere studying. Sorry my life isn't more interesting right now...

Oh but I did find an awesome giveaway for you all to enter! Its at girlsinc She is giving away an awesome get ready for summer kit! It has OPI nailpolish, a wine glass, lemonade mix, sunglasses and incredibly cute towel! It's just awesome, so head over and check it out!

And for my what am I studying today:
Mu opiod analgesic such as morphine can cause a contraction and spasm of the sphincter of odi causing intense pain in the gallbladder. Interesting huh?

Very busy

Hey all, sorry about not updating more than I have been. But this studying for the Step 1 thing kinda gets in the way, hope you can understand that. Kansas City is a gorgeous city! I live about a mile from the plaza so I am there rather often. There has been some drama with the program but it's getting better and I am slowly seeing a rise in my scores, now I'm just getting impatient for the big jump I need to see.

I've been seeing a counselor about my anxiety problems and we may have found the root of them, one Mr. David Scupham. He was my advisor at Valpo and the first time he ever met me he told me to give up on my dream of ever being a doctor, that I wouldn't make it. He was the first person who ever told me I couldn't do what I wanted and apparently that scared me alot deeper than I thought. So I am working through it.

Mark and Cub came up for Valentines day, Mark and i went to a really nice dinner at "Jack Stacks BBQ" then we walked around the plaza and came back to the apartment and played with cubby. On Sunday Cub and my roomates dog Byron got to meet and play to together. He is 100 lbs heavier than her but they got along great and played really well together!

Yesterday i had some really yummy BBQ from a place called "Oklahome Joe's" it's a BBQ restraunt in a gas station. I was skeptical but it was delicious! That might be all for now...really all i do is study my life is boring right now.

Oh yea, what am I studying right now? The Alveolar-Blood gas exchange. The first paragraph n the page I am reading now is: Pgas=Fgas x Patm. By convention the partial pressure of the gas is expressed in terms of it's dry gas concentration. Example the PO2 in ambient air: Po2=0.21 x 760=160 mmHg

Fun stuff huh??? I know you are jealous you don't get to read anymore and I do!

Giveaways

Hey all,

Just a quick post to say I heard about a few giveaways and i wanted to share with all of you!
Hope you hop on over and check them out:

Win a free blog makeover from the wonderfully talented Blogs by Danielle

And then jump over to Monogram Chick and check out the incredibly cute aqua-dot coffee mug she is giving away!!

Enjoy and hopefully one of us wins!!

I'll try to make a more substantial post tomorrow!

Feeling better

So I think I was just really PMSing or something yesterday, I feel MUCH better today. So now that I have a sunny outlook on life again it's time to get back into studying and cut myself off from the computer again. I'll check my google reader during my breaks but I most likely won't post again until this weekend, unless something really good happens. But for now it's back to my Path notes and reviewing about cell death and inflammation. If I get really bored later I might gie you all a glimpse into what I am studying...actually that might be a fun little weekly thing, type up a page of my notes so you know what I am doing...I'll have to think about it a little more. Let me know if you think it sounds interesting, or just incredibly nerdish of me! But for now I leave you with this...

Bad day

UCK...I'm having a bad day and I've only been up for an hour. I feel like crap, weak and tired my head hurts. I didn't want to get out of bed but I need to study. Then I got annoyed at Mark because he didn't answer the phone last night when I tried to call. We almost never get to talk and then when I do try to call he can't even wake up to answer the phone, added onto me not feeling well= not good conversation. So really I just want to crawl back into bed and forget this day ever happened. Maybe I'll just curl up with Anthony and cry for a minute, that might help. This is the time when I really really really miss tibs, he would have curle up with me and made me feel better.

Anyway hopefully this will bring a smile to your face today:

Changes

So far 2009 has been full of changes. I have moved to Kansas City for 3 months to partake in a study program for the USMLE Step 1. So far I am a big fan. I hope this is the thing that turns it all around for me. Other things that may help this:

• Less time spent online-either just looking through websites, or chatting with people
• Less time spent on the phone talking to people-my mom and Mark
• More time concentrating on studying and less time daydreaming
• Working out in the evening after class to give me energy to study
• Eating healthier foods-fats make you INCREDIBLY tired
• Spending a little time each day having a chat with God-big man upstairs controls all, and isn't that someone you'd like to have on your side? I know I would, I just forget sometimes that he's there. Glad he never forgets I'm here

So far I have done really well with all these, granted it's only been three days but if I can keep it up through this week it'll be easier next week and by the week after it'll be a normal pattern.

Other changes: I have two awesome new roommates! Shayla and I were so worried about who we would be living with but we got so lucky! They are some pretty amazing girls and are a great moral support as well!

Another big change that hasn't happened yet but will and is still a bit weird for me to put out here: I am going to start seeing a counselor about my anxiety problems. I freak out over pretty much anything. When I go to my best friends house who I have been friends with for years and years and years I freak out. What if I have the wrong time, what if i have the wrong day, what if I am dressed wrong for the planned activity, what is they don't really like me and just invite me out of pity. Stuff like that until I have myself pretty darn sick and thinking I'm gonna have to pull over and up-chuck. This gets intensified by a million when I meet new people or am in a larger group. So yea, I'm gonna start seeing a counselor about that. The people here think that may be a rather large portion of my not doing so well on the test in the past. So we shall see.

So now that I have told you my changes, what are some you have already see this year?

Its 2009

All I have to say is good ridance to 2008! One of the worst years of my life. I had to say goodbye to my baby boy Tibs. I had to say goodbye to my grandma after taking care of her for 8 and a half months. I failed the board exam twice, and had countless other emotional breakdowns. There were arguments and fights, and family problems. I only hope that 2009 is better. It didn't start as happily as I had hoped but it showed me there are things I need to change and I can't just hope things get better. Its time I take charge of my life and stop just hoping things happen. It's time to make things happen. So here's to you and your hopes/plans for the new year. I hope you take the energy to make them happen and to make this year a great one! What are your thoughts on the new year?